250. Alternative CRITICAL COLUMN: Sassy Introduces Beefy Bob and No-Nonsense Nigel

I'm a hyper perfectionist when it comes to creating my office space. Even if I own the tattiest furniture on the planet, and there's barely room to move around it all. My actual desk area, where I create, is more than just a desk. It's a way of life. Like missing that first cup of tea in the morning, I'd be hideously grumpy without a space I can call my own. As a writer there are times where I need to shut the outside world out, to stay focused, and in control. Yes, I'm anal retentive like that, as you probably already know.

Giving up smoking doesn't make it any easier. It only takes the whiff of a passer-by's smoke to come wafting through my office window to distract me. READ MORE...

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My Daily Random Question:
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If you smoke, and had to give up one of life's pleasures -- WHAT would you do instead to pass the time?

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The Happiness Manifesto:
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My way of calming down after a hard day of being SASSY, and part of my 43things to do list, which I'm writing here instead.
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Today I'm grateful for:

1. Doctors -- Usually I hate them with a passion. Such know-it-alls who have no real idea about the mechanics of one's body and soul, unless it's written in the almighty 'what's this body part meant to do?' text book. They also have a nasty habit of treating us with antibiotics whether we need them or not. However, yesterday my Doc came up trumps. Having under prescribed my nicotine strength, I was climbing the walls just to get a sniff of someone else's brown stained fingers. Now I have 10mg more I feel more like 'me' and less like obnoxious, rude, exasperated thing I had become. Of course, being obnoxious and rude is part of my natural charisma, so I wouldn't expect too much change in that direction...

2. Simon Cowell - That all round 'funny nasty guy'. Who else would have the idea of bringing out a music CD in the News of The World paper and think it would actually encourage us to read that trash? Wipe your bum on it maybe, but listen to the likes of Five, Westlife, Gareth Gates, Robson & Jerome and (wait for it…) Curiosity Killed The Cat? Hell no!

3. Weekends - time to play catch up or catch 22. Either way your f*!%$d before you've started, but what ever you do, don't play "The Best of Simon Cowell" and the ten (toe-curlingly awful) tracks from Pop's Mr. Nasty!

4. Scrapbooking - yes, I'm a right little goer in the Arty-Farty Department of filling 12 x 12's with other peoples unwanted crap - I mean scrap.

5. My dartboard. Oh, yes. Nothing better than a Simon Cowell picture to aim at. Although, I have plenty of others on standby, when his face is no longer recognisable as the disgusting, 'I-wear-my-trousers-up-round-my-neck-and-still-think-I'm-fasionable' GIT he really is.



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