PRESS RELEASE: Sassy Woman Strikes Back Against Copycat, Copycat Killer!




FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Sassy Woman Strikes Back Against Copycat, Copycat Killer!

CAMBRIDGE, UK – Housewife, and Domestic Goddess, owner, reviewer and general bossy boots of Alternative-Read.com finds herself a victim of the copycat, copycat Crucifix Killer, originally thought to be “just a story” made up from the author, Chris Carter’s ingenious, yet disturbed mind.

‘One minute I was minding my own business shopping in central Cambridge when a man came up to me and asked for directions to Trinity College. He looked like a tourist.’ She says with a disbelieving look. ‘The next, he grabbed me from behind, and I went out like a light. When I awoke I was in a massive building I didn’t even recognise!’

When asked what happened, Sassy Brit from Cambridge replied, ‘He took advantage of my good nature, that’s what! And that made me very Incredible-Hulk-like angry indeed!’

Our sources say that Sassy, possibly in her twenties but could be stretching the truth, woke up with a sore arm. ‘It was dark and I don’t think the killer could see very well. A proper copycat killer would have known where to carve the Crucifix Killer symbol, the back of the neck, but he’d carved it on my right arm in a very amateurish manner. I was furious! When he got close enough, I punched him right on the nose. You should have seen the blood!’ she exclaims a little over keenly. ‘After distracting him I managed to get away,’ she continues, ‘Between you, me and the lamppost it was just his bad luck he ran into me. He didn’t know how good I was with an AK47 rifle and some C4 plastic explosives. A true killer wouldn’t have been so sloppy and left those lying around in the first place!’

The brave and beautiful woman then went into lengthy detail about how she shot him in the chest from a concealed vantage point and then lured him into his own booby-trap like a trained assassin. Detonating the explosives one by one – but not before she took a death-defying leap across two university buildings to clear the explosion.

After her dice with death, Sassy Brit, now says that she’s thinking of chucking in the housewife bit and becoming a paratrooper, or a member of the CIA having now got the taste for danger.

When asked what went through her mind at the time, Sassy proudly replied, ‘I never think before I act!’

We can only hope that wherever danger strikes next, Sassy Brit, will be available.

Impressed reporter
The Guardobserver Times


All film offers should be sent to Sassy dot Brit at gmail dot com

Check out Chris Carter our AUTHOR IN THE SPOTLIGHT here!

Alternative-Read.com: The "Inside Story" by Sassy Brit and her Gang!
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20 comments:

  1. you are so silly but i like it.

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  2. You're funny! I really liked it! (I also have The Crucifix Killer to review) :)

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  3. Thank you ladies! :)

    Hope you enjoy it, Caroyln!

    I'm going to add your All Hallows Eve promo to my blog, btw. Oh, better come to your place and let you know...

    Sassy
    :)

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  4. WOW! A hair-raising experience, Sassy. England is blessed to have you as her protector. Any chance you can hire out and come to America? I know you'll be expensive but well worth the price to keep our streets safe from ruffians. Why just this morning I was accosted by a gang of girls in uniforms trying to sell me cookies. It was frightening, I tell you, frightening. They wouldn't take no for an answer and now I must eat ten boxes of Samoas and Thin Mints.

    Seriously, great job, Sassy, and the 'Crucifix Killer' is now on my must read list.

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  5. Hilarious review. well done :-)

    You're up next week for Rosie's Riveters over at Booklust! If you want to e-mail me at aarti [dot] nagaraju [at] gmail [dot] com, then I can send you the template. Looking forward to seeing what you have to say!

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  6. Wow, Sassy is a very strong and brave woman! And a marksman to boot. Sassy definitely should become a member of the CIA!
    Loved the story!

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Michael? A gang of girls selling cookies? They were Brownies, dear, but let me just pop on my superwoman pants (knickers to you!) I'll be on my way...

    To infinity and beyond...

    Cheeky grin --> :D

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  9. Thank you for your lovely comment, Aarti!

    If I may be frank for a minute (although my name is Sassy), I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm game! Sounds like fun, whatever it is! I'll email you just after I check out what I have let myself in for. :D

    Thank you!

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  10. Thanks, Nats!

    Yes, I am filling in my application form for the CIA, right now!

    I wonder if I should tell them that I have also applied to be a para?

    Sassy
    :)

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  11. Thanks, Terry!

    I appreciate you popping by.

    Sassy
    :)

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  12. Lol, what a great story. I had fun reading it. Thanks! =)

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  13. You're welcome, Linda! :)

    Thanks!

    Sassy -- or should that be SAS? :)

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  14. That's probably the best bit of advertising the book will get. For some reason I now have this picture of you in yellow rubber wet washing up gloves holding a machine gun covered in soap suds! You're an evil woman!

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  15. I just gave you an award over at my blog :)

    Award

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  16. Oooh THANK YOU! I have to go out and walk the dogs first, they have all eight legs crossed, but when I return I'll be straight back to collect it.

    Thankies.
    :)

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  17. Thanks for your comment, Shaz, it wasn't there when I replied earlier.

    And yes, that's the idea more book promo! I'm looking forward to trying it out again soon.

    Oh, what an image! You know, I'm not really a domestic goddess, don't you? That part I elaborated on purely for effect...

    Sassy
    :)

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  18. Hey Sassy ..

    That was fun - I thought shopping was a nightmare by itself, but to have a killer kidnap you and sloppily leave a scar, well that should just be the highlight of your week..

    I am not surprise you are looking for movie deals already.. Stephen King should be so lucky to get you...

    Nice one ...

    E.H>

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  19. haha! E.H> Stephen King rang up, but I am afraid I had to decline...Dean Koontz had already booked me...

    Oh, Sorry, was I daydreaming again?

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a sassy comment. It's truly appreciated. I aim to get back to you as soon as possible -- Sassy :)